7 week update!

Hey all, 

Just wanted to write a quick update. Things are getting exciting here in the Koskey-Diaz household! Little Levi is now almost 7 weeks old and growing and changing in the most lovely ways. He has started batting around at toys, he can sometimes follow objects with his eyes and maintain eye contact, and the cutest thing ever in my life: he has started cooing and makes an 'oooooh' sound that just melts my heart to pieces! We've been very interactive with him during his awake times; talking, playing, reading, dancing, tummy time, walks, and making faces. He is starting to make some faces back at us, or at least we can tell he tries. It is the cutest! He is definitely becoming more aware which is awesome. 

Mommy has had a nice week as well, I am learning to function on little sleep lol, and take advantage of whenever I can get a cat nap in. Not gonna lie that the nights can still be pretty stressful dealing with all of the crying and sleeplessness, but I now have a breast pump (thank you to my BFF!). That means I now have the freedom to go out and do things and rest assured he will get fed while I am gone! This has been a game changer. 

- Monday I went to my 6 week postpartum Doctor visit - all is well and I am healing perfectly. Let's hope too that I can avoid any further complications with breast feeding now that I've finished my antibiotic. Fingers crossed :-) 

-Tuesday - I went to the dentist for a check up. These things are a big deal for me as a new Mom who is just beginning to venture out again :-) Happy to say I am cavity free!

- Wednesday I made it to my most favorite support group; my grief support group which I have been attending for years. The facilitators, one of which is a very special mentor to me, gave me the most beautiful gift package for baby! It included clothes, linens, and other goodies. So sweet! 

-Thursday I made it to the YMCA (my home away from home!) for the first time in 6 weeks! I took a bar yoga class and then soaked in the hot tub after. All I have to say is "Heaven on Earth!" 

-Friday - went to the Y again and this time swam and then went in the hot tub. So great. 

Overall, I feel much more balanced and positive when I am able to get out, connect with people, and exercise, and that, in turn, makes me a better Mama to Levi and partner to Marcelo. Woot woot! 

Special thanks to Carmen, Marcelo's Mom, for making all of my outings possible. It is priceless knowing Levi is safe at home in loving hands. 

Also special thanks to everyone who continues to shower us with love and lovely gifts! In addition to the gift box from my support group, my best friend Kathy sent us a Michigan book and a Detroit Tigers hat :-), Mom's friend Ellen sent us a beautiful crocheted blanket and gift card, Auntie Sherry sent us the cutest Dinosaur outfit, and aunt Kathy and Uncle John sent us some spending $! 

So much love! Just so much love all around us continuing to welcome this beautiful baby into the world. We are so grateful! 

My Chubby Chunkers!

Very important milestone, Levi pets his first cat! 

Dad and Levi celebrating a soccer goal by team 'America!' (notice Levi cheering too :-)

Tiger cap from Kathy! Detroit represent!

~Angel boy~

Can't believe this miracle on earth!

Grandma's tender lovin'

Enjoying an evening family walk!

Gratitude

Prayer for myself and my family - may we never forget or cease to appreciate all of the gifts and blessings that have been bestowed upon us in this lifetime.

It has been dawning on me over and over again in this process of raising a baby just how lucky we are to have everything we need for this baby and for ourselves. In fact, we often times, have more than we need.

I have access to an abundance of healthy food and am able to adequately feed my baby.

When I got sick I had access to medical care and the medicine I need.

Levi has access to good medical care and vaccinations.

Marcelo and I both have good paying and stable jobs that allow us to provide for ourselves and out child.

We have a quiet, cozy apartment (albeit a bit messy, lol!) with enough space for all of us.

We have all the baby items we need and had the means to get other stuff when we wanted and needed it.

We have our health, mental and physical.

We have loving families, friends, and communities of which we are a part.

We have cars and electronic devices and everything we need to live a comfortable life.

Both Marcelo and I have/had been blessed with amazing parents that taught us unconditional love and patience and the importance of family.

We live in warm, sunny southern California.

How can we not rejoice in all that we have?! Lest we not take these things for granted. There are many people in this world who do not have what they need. May they be blessed as well, in this world or the next and may we always appreciate and do the best we can. May we raise a son who knows the joy of gratitude!

Friday

Hello there! Winding down another night and thought I would update. This week was tough, not gonna lie. Somehow Levi seems to be getting more nocturnal, sleeping almost all day (despite efforts to keep him up) and then is awake a lot at night. We had all been getting into a rythm sleeping in one bad but last night Marcelo and I had to revert to taking shifts with the baby in separate rooms so at least one of us could sleep at a time. He was so fussy last night, crying, and loud! It was pretty stressful. I've been super exhausted and Marcelo too.

We had a big day yeaterday, Levi and I, going to an awesome new Moms group and then grocery shopping together for the first time! I am still pretty nervous taking him out but all went well, thankfully.

We've been reading up a bit and are going to try getting him onto a feeding schedule to hopefully help him start sleeping more at night. We werent going to but since he seems to be reverting...we need to try some new stuff. Hes also been feeding a lot in the evenings....and wants to be on my breast for hours and hours or will cry a lot. As much as I love the closeness, its just not sustainable for me. So we'll start tomm with a not-super -rigid schedule.

Uh oh...hes up crying again...gotta go!

cats

when not in use, we keep boxes in Levi's stroller and carrier to prevent the cats from sleeping in them. Should I consider this a success? lol.

monday

I'll just give a really quick 1 am update on our Monday. I've been fever free for 24 hours which has been wonderful!  I spoke to a lactation consultant this morning and she gave me some helpful info. I've continued taking the antibiotic to further support my healing. It was an ok day with Levi. He slept a bit more today...kind of fussy at night but white noise playing on our i-pod really helps. I also love rocking him to sleep in our rocking chair. Seriously the best.

And Marcelo and I are getting a bit more used to the tag team thing. We take turns eating, washing up, sleeping, etc. Im getting accostumed to leaving meals to sit until he is done feeding. I've also had to become somewhat nocturnal myself (hence the 1am blog entries) in order to stay up with him at night and just catch naps where I can during the day.

Onward we go! Fingers crossed for an easy night...

update

Well today got progressively better. Last night I woke up at 2:30 and had a fever of 102.2 so I started taking the antibiotics. My fever has been going down since then and I am currently fever free! ....which makes me want to stop the meds since I only took 2. Well see.

My breast is not better though, which is really concerning to me. I think the ducts are still blocked as it continues to be painful and red with hard spots. The doc recommended cold compresses with massage to help open them. Ive tried that as well as hot compress with no results. It is extremely painful to "massage" the hard parts. I was doing so in the shower and yelped so loud from the pain that Marcelo heard me from the bedroom. Not fun.

All of this makes me seriously reconsider breast feeding at all. I know its super good for the baby and saves money but it is so much work and the complications have been bad. I am going to seek further support and consultation and see if things improve when I can start pumping as well.

Today was another rough day as it seems Levi only wanted to eat or he was crying until about 7 pm when he finally fell asleep. It can be so stressful when he just cries and cries and also feeds and feeds. I was pretty much tethered to the couch all day which I guess was fine since I wasn't feeling well but I barely had time to even prepare myself a snack or eat myself.

Marcelo and I had a good talk though so that helps. Heres to hoping tonight goes well and my body heals!

I've attached a few pics. It was 91 degrees in LA today! Also a few pics of Levi crying. His little mouth is so cute when it frowns. I love all the pics of him sleeping so peacefully but crying is definitely a part of the picture too :-)

moment continued...

to continue my post from 24 hours ago...

last night ended up being pretty rough. Neither of us slept much as Levi was awake from 2:30-6:30 :-( Around 4 am I woke Marcelo up to take over which he graciously did. Its just hard when the baby fusses and cries a lot which is what happened last night. Not to mention the fact that I had a 101 degree fever all night.

As my fever wasn't going away as it had done before...I ended up going to urgent care today and got a script for some antibiotics. My hunch of mastitis was right and the doc said it was very common. She also said its not unlikely that I will get it again but can possibly avoid by feeding Levi or pumping my milk every 3 hours.

We got home and I was still feverish so I took some ib profin and slept for about 5 hours under heavy blankets waking up only once to feed the baby. Unfortunately I still had a fever upon waking so took more meds and felt better tonight. Luckily I had an appetite and had a good dinner and drank a ton of lemon water to help flush my system.

Being a person who is oriented to the least level of medical intervention possible, I still haven't started the antibiotic. I've decided to wait a full 24-36 hours after I first got a fever to see of I cant kick this thing on my own. So we'll see. Fingers are crossed!

It's been a hell of a past 24 hours, probably the toughest yet. I'm grateful Levi is sleeping peacefully right now. I'm grateful for Marcelo who stayed up with him in the wee hours and took care of him a lot today so I could rest. I'm grateful for his Mom who came over this morning and again this afternoon to help with things not to mention making us a 3 course hot meal. I'm grateful for my brother and his wife who offered wise medical consultation to me. And also thankful for the doc I saw as she was pretty nice too.

Ciao for now! Hoping things stay up from here!

having a moment....

I am having a rough time right now and just want to vent a bit..I am laying in bed at 1am...not able to sleep due to severe pain in my right breast. I am pretty sure I have another infection as I also feel feverish. Gaaah! This has been such a tough week (the toughest since hes been born) and I need a break.

Hes been going through growth spurts where he wants to feed every hour and will get so fussy and just cry (loudly), and seemingly unconsolably. He has also been up a lot at night.

If I had to do it all over again I would def. have a working electric breast pump ready at birth. I haven't gotten more than 4 hr blocks of sleep in over a month (and even those are rare...im lucky if i can get 3). And I am just tanked.

I want to go to Marcelo for support but he is so depleted amd exhausted as well that hes passed out. I tried to wake him to let him know Im sick and just want some tlc but hes so exhausted too.

omg mastitis is the worst pain! any movement of my torso kills and its just throbbing pain as Im laying here. I took a hot shower and just stood there trying to relax. I cam feel the hard lumps in it and its just so painful. I did have him feed on that side earlier hoping it would go away with less engorgement and him feeding hurt so badly! My fever has given me the chills and Im am dreading his next feed or crying spell.

my friend is sending me a breast pump (thx kathy!) and hopefully when it arrives i can leave some bottles so i cam sleep and go to the gym again (2 essentials for my health).

i feel its crazy to be up while hes sleeping but my chest hurts so bad i dont know if i can even sleep at all.

just having a moment! acknowledging that this is a difficult moment and reminding myself it will pass....but gaaah being a mom is so hard right now!

Happy One Month Birthday!

Happy one month little guy! What a whirl wind of a completely life changing past 30 days! I will say it has gotten a bit easier, but I wouldn't describe being a new Mom as "easy," not by a long shot. 

There have been a couple of really tough nights this past week in which Levi was very fussy and just did not want to sleep and was crying a lot. He wanted to be constantly nursing, which is a lot of work for Mom. 

Breast feeding, in general, is going well but I did come down with an infection this weekend, called 'Mastitis,' which is basically an infection and inflammation of the breast tissue. It was extremely painful and also caused a low grade fever for a few days. Not fun while trying to manage other Mommy duties and continue feeding. luckily it wasn't too severe and seems to be on its way out now. 

Every day is a new adventure and every day Levi seems to get cuter and cuter! We have been talking to him a lot, reading to him, practicing tummy time, and just "ooohing and ahhhhing' over him constantly.

We are just so grateful he and we are all healthy and that we are able to provide for his needs. Got to remember the blessings and good stuff all the time. :-) 

We loooove to hold him all the time. The pics below are so precious. How blessed we are :-) 

“Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’

doesn’t make sense any more.” - Rumi

New pics! Warning: extreme cuteness!!

Greeting all from the Koskey-Diaz family! This week has been great for me, in the sense that I got out 3 times to socialize! It's been challenging in the Levi, I think is going through a growth spurt, eating a ton and very fussy at night. The past 3 nights have been especially hard, wow! 

Daddy exhausted, the sleep deprivation is real, and it's a 24-7 job! 

My older brother Jesse spending some quality time with Levi. He came to LA to meet Levi for a quick 24 hour visit. It was awesome having him here. He is in medical school at Columbia! (yes, I love bragging about him :-), he gives me free medical advice :-) ) 

My precious baby sleeping on my chest. 

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow ~ For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow ~ So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep ~ I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."

Celebrating Jesse's birthday with the fam! Marcelo, Esme, me, Jesse.

Cherished moments...

So happy that I was able to get out and socialize this week. Here I am at Echo Park Lake with a group of Mamas and Doulas that neet every week to go walking. I walked 2.5 miles with them! It was definitely a challenge as my body is still recovering. Super fun to talk baby stuff. 

Above, here I am with a group of new Mom's that I met in a class at Kaiser while we were all pregnant. We stayed in touch and it was so cool to finally meet up after with our babies and swap stories. So cool! 

Stroller parking. Lol, I did a double take when I saw this. I didn't know stroller parking was like a thing, but it is! I thought to myself, wow, this is a new a different world that I'm now a part of and I will need things like stroller parking. At the end of our play date, a fellow new Mom took me to a building to show me a very nice family bathroom and nursing area, things I now need to know about!

Splish Splash!

One of my most favorite Mom duties has been giving little Levi a bath. We bought a tiny plastic bin from the dollar store and just fill it up with warm water from the kitchen sink. He really seems to enjoy and relax in the during bath time, he has never cried. Seeing his tiny naked body is just the most precious thing and reminds me about just how amazing the miracle of life is. What a privilege to be his Mommy! 

"Splish, splash, I was takin' a bath
Long about a Saturday night, yeah
A rub dub, just relaxin' in the tub
Thinkin' everythin' was alright"

Week 3!

Levi is 3 weeks old today! 

Let me start off by apologizing to my loved ones for the delay in communication about Levi's birth. It has been brought to my attention by several people that I care about that they were bummed that I had waited so long (several days to 2 weeks) to let them know about Levi's arrival. I won't offer any excuses on my part, I'll only say 'I'm sorry' and that I didn't mean to hurt anyone. 

Levi had a check up last Tuesday and he's gained over a pound, which means he's doing good and growing on schedule. I have been exclusively breast feeding which, luckily has been going good as well. There's been a few minor issues and besides it being somewhat exhausting for Mom, all is well and feeling pretty grateful that I have been able to breast feed. 

We are planning to introduce him to a bottle this week though, so we have a back up option. Plus Mommy has an outside engagement on Wednesday afternoon that we need to have a back up for. I'm beginning to realize that like many things in life, balance is key. Although it's tempting to want to be available to him 24-7, it's not possible for me personally as I know I am a healthier, happier person when I am also engaged in my own activities and self-care practices. I am confident he will be just fine, although it's hard to leave him. I imagine this is a tension and balance I will work on constantly as a parent. 

We had our first social outing last Sunday! Levi and I went to my friend Christina's house where she was hosting a night of dinner and games with a bunch of our friends. I am still very nervous to bring him out and concerned about germs and things. I had let my friends know ahead of time that I wouldn't be able to come if anyone was sick, and that admiring Levi from a distance would be best since he is still so small. All went well until I realized I had forgotten to bring extra diapers and had only left the house with 2. Considering we go through about 15-20 diapers per day, I realized it was going to be a problem when right after I put the second clean one on him, he went number 1 and 2 right away (which seems to happen all the time, lol). My friends acted quickly and we came up with the temporary solution to put a clean maxi pad over the soiled diaper to keep him dry until I could get home. It worked! 2 points for creative solutions! Ha!

My brother Jesse flew in from NYC on Thursday and stayed just over 24 hours to meet Levi. It was so nice having him here, he pretty much waited on me hand and foot (brought me blueberry pancakes in bed!) and helped me with a ton of stuff around the house. We had dinner at Marcelo's parents and it was a lovely evening. There's nothing like having family close by! 

So things at home are getting a bit easier. We set up a co-sleeper which is basically like a crib with one short wall that goes right next to our bed so I can feed him easily at night and keep him close. So now all 3 of us are able to sleep in one room at night which has been working well. We also got a much needed changing table for our room which makes that much easier. I have gotten a little more used to taking care of a newborn. I am still healing myself and that is going well. I am still pretty tired and adapting to a totally different sleeping pattern. It's definitely challenging but we're already 3 weeks in and I know it won't be like this forever. I am trying to enjoy the time while he is so young and sweet and small and precious! 

Levi and Abuela (grandma)

Levi and Mama in the Moby Wrap. 

Javoni, our awesome Doula and her 6 month old son Phoenix with Levi and I. :-)

Levi with Daddy

New family! 

Levi and I with Pyari :-)