ode to the 8 hour night

Dear 8 hour night, 

We had so many great years together. I love the way you would leave me feeling so refreshed and viva (alive!) I loved the way I could access you whenever I wanted! 

I understand why we must part for now and I am really going to miss you. You hold a dear and special place in my heart :-) 

Love, Hope and Marcelo; exhausted but eager new parents

p.s. I look forward to our reunion in several months! (although some may argue it will be years) :-) 

Diapers!

We received an AMAZING, wonderful, generous, and super helpful gift from my Auntie Marilyn  and Uncle Tim!

They, so kindly, gifted our family a YEAR of cloth diaper service! This means they provide all of the diapers, and pick up/wash/drop off at our door step weekly!

WOOOOOOW!

I literally cried when I received this notice in the mail, I was just so happy and relieved and well, acts of great LOVE make me cry....from joy.

Auntie and Uncle were my parents best friends from before we were born and to this day they have kept us close and are two of the most kind hearted people I know.

When I started thinking about what our diapering plan was going to be, I was quite overwhelmed by all of the options out there, not to mention how expensive it can be! This relieved all of my worries and now things are going great. It is really surprising just how many diapers a baby can go through in a day! I have had times where I've literally changed 4 in a row (in less than 10 min)! Ha! Little one has no control.

And yes I have gotten pee in my face he hee, but it's the kind of thing that is just so cute and innocent that it doesn't seem gross to me. I hear this is par for the course anyway..

So baby is happily using cotton cloth diapers and we are stoked!

Thank you so kindly Auntie and Uncle. We love you!

Placenta Encapsulation

I had my placenta encapsulated (dehydrated and made into pills) after the birth. It may seem like a weird practice, even I thought it was when I first heard of it just shortly after getting pregnant. The more I learned, though, the more it made sense.

Here is an excerpt from mommyfeelgood.com

"I first learned of mother’s ingesting their placenta as a supplement after childbirth while in school for Traditional Chinese Medicine. This has been in practice in China and many cultures for thousands of years. Almost every mammal ingests their own placenta after the birth, sometimes even ignoring the young until the placenta has been completely ingested.
Traditional Chinese Medicine has used placenta for thousands of years to augment the qi (energy), nourish the blood, and augment the kidney essence. In layman’s terms, it brings the body back into balance, replenishing what was lost during childbirth. In China it is also used for debilitating chronic diseases and widely used as an anti-aging treatment, as well as a variety of other ills, including fatigue and insufficient lactation.
In many cultures the placenta is considered the tree of life, and indeed, without it life would not be possible."

The article goes on to say:

Traditionally, placenta capsules have been used to help:

· Balance your hormones
· Increase milk supply
· Combat Fatigue
· Increase your energy
· Prevent signs of aging
· Recover more quickly from childbirth
· Replenish what was lost during childbirth
· Bring the body back into balance
· Prevent and treat the “baby blues”
· Shorten postnatal bleeding time
· Increase postnatal iron levels

Studies show that placenta is extremely nutrient rich, high in iron, protein, vitamins and minerals, including vitamin B6 and of course, your own natural hormones, making it perfectly made for you, by you. Experts agree that the placenta retains hormones, and thus reintroducing them to your system may ease hormonal fluctuations.

I wanted to post about it b/c I think it's an awesome and worthwhile practice and I'm so glad I did it. Basically, after I birthed the placenta in the hospital, I let the staff know I wanted to keep it and I signed a release and they let me keep it on ice while we were there for 2 days. The midwife came to get it the morning of our second day there, and dropped this lovely package off at our home 2 days later. :-) She even made a nice heart shaped keepsake out of the umbilical cord. 

From those I have spoken with, this generally runs between $200-$300. It's hard to say how much it has helped me b/c I don't really have a point of reference to compare this experience with. I will say that the first 2 weeks post partum, my mood was pretty low and I was very emotional. I had a lot of tender/vulnerable/sad emotions and it was kind of rough. I have been taking the placenta pills daily and the past 4 days I have felt just more stable in my mood, which is a really good thing.

Every Mom has to make her own choices about what is right for her, for me, taking my placenta has been a good experience and I really like the idea of it. Glad we were able to have this done and grateful to my mid wife! We have met a lot of people on this journey who are very passionate about pregnancy and child birth and the passion is contagious!

The hardest 2 weeks of our lives

Ha! Okay, had no idea parenting a newborn would be such a challenge! We need to go back to the hospital b/c I think we forgot to pick up the step by step instruction manual that's supposed to come with the little babies!

The challenges:

- Number 1, first and foremost, sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation! Which, for me, leads to other things like being super emotional, crabby, tearful and in a general zombie-like state. Marcelo too, we both concur that this is the most exhausted we have ever been in our entire lives.

Marcelo has been really great and pretty much the trooper with staying up nights. He discovered a "womb sounds" youtube station that really helps lull Levi to sleep. He has been sleeping more and crying less at night bit by bit. Last night M stayed in the living room with him from 11:30 pm to 7:30 am. He brought him to me for several 30 minute feedings, and then he would burp and change him. I am so grateful. I feel pretty human today! But Marcelo had to go to a board meeting and left like a zombie. He is able to sleep while with the baby but he says it's not a deep sleep. He is so good with Levi, and so patient. I am so grateful for him!

- My other big challenge has been the adjustment of being a super active, working, gym-going, group going, super social, independent woman to having to stay home 24-7. I was so looking forward to having an extended break from the professional world (my first in 10 years!) but turns out being a Mommy, in many ways is harder than my "job." Ha! All these things I learn as I go.

I really am not the type that feels great staying home [alone] for long periods. TV is ok but, like anything, too much is too much. Although I've seen several choice 80's movies in the past week like "pretty in pink," and "license to drive," with the double Corey action, which has been fun. :-)

But to keep it real, before Levi,I wrote in my journal, meditated, exercised, cooked a lot, took classes, went to groups, and saw friends on most days of the week, etc. All of these things helped me maintain a sense of balance and stability in my life and without the time/energy to do them, it really has been an adjustment. I've been working with some depression and feelings of isolation, which has been tough. Not gonna lie and not gonna pretend like Mommyhood is all easy breezy. I think I've cried at least once each day since we have been home. It's been hard that Marcelo had to go back to work a few days after the birth, but he has been able to do half days from home which is awesome.

Marcelo's Mom has been here a lot which has been awesome. Yesterday I was able to get out for 90 minutes after feeding the baby well and go to Trader Joes. It was so fun! I miss the outside world! Since it's recommended to exclusively breast feed, and a choice that works well for us, I really cannot be separated from baby for long periods. But this coming week I am planning to go to a friends for dinner and games (taking precautions of course), post-natal yoga which allows babies, and a new mommies group. I am SUPER excited!

On the other hand, being a Mom is pretty amazing too!  Check out the pics below to see what we've been up to:-)

Little man, look how tiny!

We've gotten out for a walk on several days. Good for both Mom and baby. I LOVE wearing my baby, here he is in my Moby wrap.

When I peek down into the wrap, this sweet face is what I see! (sorry pic is rotated)

Cuddle party on the couch! Baby and kitty, and I am in heaven. (notice the dark circles under my eyes though, Mommy has seriously been tired!)

Thank goodness for good friends that come for visits and bring us Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) :-)

Thank goodness for Marcelo's Mom who cooks and leaves hot food on our stove and helps with the dishes too.

Daddy loves his boy!

Look at this little angel face! (the baby is pretty cute too, don't you think?) Lol!

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Baby Shower! 2/1/2014

On Feb 1, 2014, Marcelo, my girlfriends, and I hosted a baby shower in our home. There was lots of celebration, food, friends, family, gifts and I even gave a little speech! We are so grateful to be surrounded by such great friends and family. What a special time.

We got showered with so many cute and beautiful gifts!

Backyard games!

Prayer altar. We invited guests to bring a small object that they had blessed or infused with positive energy. We gathered these items into a small pouch to keep close to me during labor. Prayers that Levi has a safe and easy transition into this world and is born healthy and happy.

Dad and Mom to be! Wish I had a close up of Marcelo's hand-knitted tie, it has little babies all over it! :-)

Party goodies!

Gift bags!

Pyari and her baby cubes!

Special candles :-)

What a fun day!

Baby Levi's here!!

Levi Alejandro Koskey-Diaz
Born 2/9/14 7:30 pm
7lb 13 oz
Mom and Baby are healthy and well! 

So here he is...our precious bundle of joy! And boy did he make an exciting entrance into the world! Here is our birth story:

Last Sunday, 10 days before Levi's actual due date, Marcelo and I had spent the morning running errands to get last minute baby items. Our friend Tasha was so kind in hooking us up with so many useful items, we also went to Target (thank you to my family for the gift card!) and to a baby re-sale shop. It was a good morning, and I felt nothing out of the usual.

At 3:30 that afternoon I had two brief periods of pain in my abdomen and wondered if they were Braxton-Hicks (practice) contractions and didn't think too much of them, though they were pretty painful. At about 4pm I experienced a very strong contraction that had me on the living room floor, on all fours, in tears, and moaning. Woah! The contractions then alternated between mild and painful for the next hour or so but we still weren't sure if it was Prodromal (false) labor or not. We called our Doula after about an hour and she recommended to sit tight and that it was highly unlikely that I would be having the baby any time soon. I agreed with her, seeing as though what we learned is that an average first labor is usually between 12-18 hours. Also, it wasn't his due date yet and the week prior, my ob-gyn had told me my baby was small, only 5 - 5.5 lbs, which is only the 55th percentile of size for his age, which also led me to believe he would be cooking a little bit longer!

Boy were we all wrong, lol. Live and learn!

The contractions continued, and became stronger. We, (Marcelo and I), were timing them to see if we should go to the hospital, but they didn't seem to have a specific ending all the time and I think both of us were a bit confused. We also learned and heard from so many that it's important to try to labor at home for as long as possible, the hospital also won't admit patients until 4cm dilation. We had no idea just how far along we were at that point. We were also trying to pack our hospital bags in-between contractions which was a funny scene as we were running all over the house, and I was like "get the bread! and the peanut butter!" Lol, it was so chaotic. I also planned to wear my own outfit at the hospital, and all i could do was just grab whatever was on top in my closet. The contractions were getting so painful that they sent me to the floor and eventually Marcelo didn't want me trying to walk anymore.

I laid on the bed, mostly on my side and had Marcelo use counter-pressure, pushing in and down on my lower back, which really helped with the pain at times. The contractions were indeed the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, actually the word "pain" or any words trying to describe how unbearable it was fall completely short. All I could say was "I need an epidural!" And this is very ironic b/c I was so into the idea of a natural birth and breathing through the pain and mind over matter. I had been practicing birthing affirmations and breathing for months. When the pain hit, all of my practice felt like one tiny drop in the ocean of excruciating pain. I literally thought I was going to die from the pain.

As labor progressed, and I entered what is known as the "transition" phase of labor, although I didn't know it. That's the most painful part, before pushing. Instinctualy, at this point, I knew I couldn't ride in a car. I couldn't physically be sitting upright and not have Marcelo fully available. I got up and walked into the living room, squatted down on one knee, leaning over my coffee table and began to scream unlike I have ever screamed before. My body had started bearing down to push! And I had completely no control over it!

At this point, I think we were both pretty scared. Marcelo called 911 and I heard them giving instructions to him on what to do. ie - "tell her not to push!," lol, which was not an option b/c I couldn't help it, "make sure her underwear is off," and "have clean towels down on the floor." The dispatcher had to repeat the instructions as my screaming was so loud Marcelo could not hear him. At this point, things went into a blur for me, I was in another dimension, in a very strange way. I heard Marcelo say "I can see the baby's head crowning!" 

A few seconds later 4 firemen and 1 firewoman, in full regalia, are inside our apartment helping me to lay on my back and setting up equipment for delivery. I pushed twice and the baby was out! The baby was born just about 4 minutes after help arrived and just 3 and a half hours after my labor started. Thank goodness the paramedics were there to facilitate the delivery including checking the baby and the cord clamping, Marcelo got to cut the cord. :-)

So much for our very detailed birth plan that we had spent several hours with our Doula, and on our own, discussing and creating, lol.

I had imagined and dreamed about the moment of meeting and holding my baby and looking into his eyes for the first time. I had imagined it being so emotional and that I would cry of joy. When Levi was delivered, I was in such a state of shock and my body was in such intense over drive from all of the pain/endorphins/birth. All I could do was just keep laying there on the floor and was not really even clear headed at that moment, I wasn't sure if I was OK or not yet. I didn't have the urge to push anymore to deliver the placenta, so I needed to be transported to the hospital via stretcher to complete the birth. They wheeled me out and I rode with the baby and firemen in the back of the fire truck to Kaiser. Marcelo met us there.

Once there, they examined the baby, he was doing good. I birthed the placenta with out much issue and finally got to hold him! it was a dream! Just a miraculous moment in time that I will never forget. Unfortunately I had to give him back while I got stitched up for an internal 3rd degree tear that was bleeding a lot. Marcelo was awesome as he stayed face to face with me and we did deep breathing together and practiced calming affirmations during the 25 minute procedure. Gah, not fun, but on a scale of 1 to 100, the pain of labor is definitely a 100, and getting injections and stitches in my lady parts was a 1 in comparison. No comparison! I guess on the upside, my pain scale has grown exponentially. Ha!

As things wound down and my body finally stopped quivering and I began to relax and return to fully present consciousness, I was filled with such a great sense of relief that baby was born healthy, I was good, and I could start to relax and enjoy the baby. He was so perfect. What a blessing!

Kaiser provided us with the utmost of excellent care as we spent the next 48 hours in the hospital recuperating and getting some testing done for the baby.  We saw so many different providers, they really covered all the bases and were so helpful with the baby as well.

Here we are in the photo below marveling at the miracle of life and this angelic boy who we are so grateful to have as our son. 

Although the birthing experience was totally unexpected and had its scary moments, there are 2 major blessings regarding the events (besides getting a baby out of the deal, lol!). One is that Marcelo was home at the time my labor started. The second is that we didn't try to get into the car and drive to the hospital, after we realized we needed to go, as I quite possibly would have delivered either in the car or in a parking lot somewhere! Yikes! 

Many folks I have talked to tell me I am so lucky that my labor was so short. One of the doctors asked if I do yoga and when i told her I have been practicing regularly for the past 15 years, she told me that could be why things went to quick for me.

Visiting us at the hospital: Abuela (Grandma)! And Auntie Esme!

 And of course, we always have to keep laughing and find the humor in everything: Due to my 3rd degree laceration, you know where, I was prescribed "Geri Care Stool Softener." Lol, totally joking with my brothers that I am the first one of us to take a geriatric product! Woohoo!

I wanted to post the announcement and pics earlier but omg, being a parent has totally thrown us for a loop! We have definitely entered parenthood. Ha! Marcelo and I have a new slogan "every minute counts!" Meaning even one minute of sleep is a valuable thing. It has been a huge adjustment and we are starting to get into a groove of sleeping/staying up in shifts, taking turns. After a week I am very emotional, but starting to feel a bit human again.

Marcelo's Mom has been so incredible and I wanted to take a minute to acknowledge her. She has been visiting us every day, cooking meals for us, cleaning, watching the baby, spending the night to take shifts, providing emotional support, teaching me how to do things like bathe the baby, etc. While we were in the hospital, she cleaned up and laundered every linen on our bed and when we arrived home in a frazzled state it was soo nice to come home to such cleanliness! We are so lucky to have her!

Below: Abuelo y Abuela; Grandpa and Grandma, Marcelo's parents. They love their boy! 

I also have to acknowledge how amazing Marcelo has been as a partner and Father in the past week. He always is, but he handled everything so calmly, he was so present and available and loving and caring to me. It's incredible, just today he brought me fresh strawberries and avocados, he's been so supportive and checking in with me, and I admit, he has stayed up with the baby in the wee hours more than I have. I have been such a basket case from lack of sleep that last night he stayed in the living room all night caring for baby, just bringing him to me every few hours for feedings so i could get a full 6-7 hours of sleep. Today I feel so much better! He is the best!

 Here is Levi getting some "skin to skin" time with Daddy at the hospital.

 

Sweet cheeks!

Mom and baby resting at home.

Seventh Heaven

So here we are! So excited about our new family member! All the blessings we have had in this experience. I know my angels are with me and have been at work. So grateful right now. Welcome baby Levi!

 Please do feel free to be in touch with us! Apologies if I can't answer/respond right away but I will do my best! xoxo